April | 2017 | Pieces Of Jaye

And when he get on, he leave yo’ ass for a white girl…

The natural hair community was up in arms yesterday after a commercial was released for the popular hair care brand SheaMoisture. In its efforts to promote inclusion and diversify its client base, the brand released this ad campaign.

For the sake of being “inclusive” this ad was designed to promote their products to those who are traditionally seen as outsiders of the natural hair community. Unfortunately, while doing so they managed to exclude the very demographic that made them who they are today-Black women.

There were no kinky, coily naturalistas to be found for the first :57 seconds of the vid. They were thrown in for the last three seconds, at a fake attempt for this ad to pass some diversity quota. None to be found in a video that particularly addressed the concept of hair hate, something that the kinky crew is all too familiar with.

Let me preface this by saying that I don’t necessarily blame Shea Moisture for wanting to expand. It would be bad business for them not to. Women who are not of color also wish to consume products with more natural ingredients and they have the right to do so. The problem is that in trying to cater to another brand, they left their loyal fan base out of the entire conversation. Had it not been for Shea Moisture’s loyal black consumers, the brand would not have seen the success it does today.

In my opinion, what is more hurtful about this betrayal is that black women already face misrepresentation in media and advertising, and the one brand we could always rely on to represent us essentially sold out in the name of the almighty dollar. This speaks to a larger issue we are all too familiar with, because it seems as black people we literally can’t have anything of our own without it being stolen or appropriated. For so long, we have been excluded and told that our hair, our bodies, and our beauty practices do not fit society’s ideals of beauty. No one preached about inclusion then. So we created our own outlets and products to enhance and celebrate our beauty, only to turn around and have one of our own pander to the very same people who excluded us, all in the name of inclusion. Not cool at all.

SheaMoisture issued the following apology:

SheaMoisture messed up, and they know it. Let’s see how they get themselves out of this debacle.

I celebrated my 29th birthday in early January. There’s no exaggeration when I say that this birthday in particular was one of THEE BEST EVER! My friends and family really came together to help me celebrate another year of life. As I look forward with excitement about ending my 20’s with a bang (because I plan to do all the things this year), I must look back and take a moment to reflect on the many lessons I’ve learned over the years..

29 Things I Know For Sure

Adulting aint easy- Because paying rent, bills, working, cooking, cleaning and basically taking care of yourself while doing things you don’t always want to do isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Childhood is much easier.
…but I value my freedom: because being able to control my destiny and decide who I want to be in life is liberating AF.
My parents are human too. I spent a large part of my 20’s living at home with my parents. While I experienced the many growing pains that come with trying to be grown while still living in my momma’s house, I got to see a more human side of my parents, mainly because I was able to now look at certain situations from a more adult perspective. They’re not perfect, they’re flawed and make mistakes just like you.
Don’t take everything so personal. Everything that happens doesn’t warrant some dramatic reaction. Sometimes when people behave a certain way, ITS NOT EVEN ABOUT YOU!
Sleep is important. You’re not in college anymore, so pulling all nighters and trying to function though your day on two hours of sleep is ridiculous and extremely unhealthy. Go to bed and get some sleep, your body will thank you.
Pay attention to your health. Eat healthy. Get into a regular exercise regimen. Rest your body. Drink lots of water.
Pay attention to your finances. Having a great job while not being a good steward of your finances is not cute. Save for those rainy days because unexpected torrential downpours will happen. Pay your bills on time, and protect your credit. Invest in your future with 401K’s, stocks, bonds, etc.
Embrace your sexuality. If you’re straight, gay, bi, questioning, whatever…be who you are and practice what makes you feel comfortable and fulfilled, no matter what society has to say. You are free to sleep with whomever, whenever, however you want. And guess what…it doesn’t make you a hoe either. As long as what you’re doing is consentual and you’re using protection, do you boo. It’s no one else’s business!
You make plans…God laughs at them. Just know that his plans are always better than anything you could ever imagine.
Travel. Because the world is so much bigger than your hometown. Get out there and see some world.
You will change. Life experiences will create room for spiritual and emotional maturity. There’s no fun in living life without growth.
Investment fashion pieces are KEY to a great wardrobe. Forever 21 can only get you so far. When you can afford to do so, spend a little more on some quality clothing staples that will last for years and create a variety of polished looks.
Social media is a highlight reel. Stop with the self comparisons. People see the glamorous but have no idea of what’s really going on behind the scenes.
Life is chess, not checkers. Always make sure your next move is your absolute best move, whether it involves your finances, career, love, your health, etc. Always put yourself in the best position to thrive.
It’s absolutely ok to look up at this age with no spouse or kids. Your life isn’t incomplete. Just live.
No is a complete sentence. That simple. Someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, simply decline with a no. Fun fact: you don’t owe people explanations for things either.
Self-Care is paramount. Figure out what you need to do to recharge and get centered. Do a few yoga poses, go on a social media fast, take a bubble bath.
Forgive yourself. Life is about making mistakes. Give yourself the opportunity to learn from the lesson and move forward. Punishing yourself does nothing for your spirit.
Heartbreak is inevitable. Never let it stop you from experiencing love again.
Value your friendships. I’m blessed to have an awesome circle of sisters. I literally don’t know where I’d be without them. The day to day stressors of adulthood make it difficult to maintain and cultivate friendships, but with some intention and planning, you can find time to spend with your girls (or boys).
Always trust your instincts. You know that sinking feeling in your stomach that tells you something’s wrong? Your intuition never steers you wrong. Listen to that voice.
You are not for everyone. There will always be one or two people who just won’t like you. So what?
Stay in your lane. You are here to run your own race in life, at your own pace. You are not in competition with anyone. Things will happen for you when they are destined to.
Read. Compile a reading list, get your hands on the latest New York Times best seller. Learning comes from reading.
Live everyday as if it’s your last. We never know if it will be.
Never be afraid to leave behind what no longer suits you. The dead-end job, the toxic relationship. Anything that pulls from your spirit needs to go.
Enjoy dating. Get out there. Meet people and have fun. These experiences will lead you to the one you want.
You won’t know it all. You don’t always have the answers, Sway. And it’s quite alright.
Life is just beginning. You are far from old at this age. I no longer have fears about ending my 20’s and approaching my 30’s. This is the age where you’re still young enough to have fun but you learn to cut the BS, because you know better.